Hello readers, today we will be discussing the 12 Don’ts of intimate relationships.
There are many things that women enjoy doing with the hope to portray them as classy, matured, or focused, which passes a different message to men, thereby reducing their value in the sight of their men.
If you must earn men’s respect, you should STOP doing these things. In no particular order, they are:
Don’t Act Like A Man
The first thing to understand in an intimate relationship is that you are not the man and you are not supposed to act a man. If you are fond of behaving like a man, you may find it very difficult to attract men, because except a man is gay, no man wants to be in an intimate relationship with another man.
Acting like a man will create unnecessary friction in your relationship. You will be more or less like two competitors living together. Understand what he wants as a man and don’t make issues with them. This is why you must take a course on self discovery and development.
Acting as a man started with this ill-advice “think like a man; act like a lady” it is not possible to do so. You only act the way you think and not otherwise, thus if you think like a man, you will act like a man, hereby create unhealthy competitions with any man you are with.
The best way to be a lady – a high class and respected woman is to think like one. The beginning of this is self-discovery and development.
Don’t lay Too Much Emphasis on Marriage
When women are in love with men, especially when they have passed their prime, they tend to do things in desperation because they are eager to settle down as fast as possible.
No matter how they try to conceal it, men see their desperation and capitalize on them.
Desperation is another factor that leads to heartbreak in an intimate relationship. Women that subscribe to the belief that marriage is a measure of how responsibility, are always under pressure to get married at certain ages.
No man wants to marry a woman, who is desperate for marriage. It makes women look ridiculously cheap.
Society put a lot of pressure on women to get married at a particular age and with them wanting to live by people’s measurement of responsibility, they become too desperate to settle down with any man, whether they are ready or not. You should know that singleness, as far as you are not single because you did not develop yourself or because of bad personal branding is not a bad thing at all.
Mind you, good personal branding, and a well-developed self, especially when you appear materially successful can keep you single for a longer time, but it is because the right man for you is yet to come. When you experience this, just check yourself and if you are doing well in those two areas mentioned, there is no need for panic.
The best will come for you and if it does not, make yourself available to him. The way to do this and still earn men’s respect is exclusively discussed in The Exceptional Woman.
The habit of women always talking about marriage is a turn off for any man, and it makes them think you are not worth it. Men read your desperations and take advantage of them to get what they want. They enjoy themselves and walk away, while you feel jilted and used.
Moreover, telling a man that approached you for an intimate relationship even before you agree to date him that all you want is marriage, makes you look desperate and sends a message to him that you will give whatsoever you have to marry him, not only
your body but also your money and loyalty. It reduces his respect for you and makes him think you are being nice because you want marriage at all costs.
Don’t Hide Your Expectations
It is characteristic of the majority of young women to have unspoken expectations, especially in crucial areas such as sex. This makes men think they do not know what they want. In most cases women expect their men to know what they want without them saying them.
They ignorantly believe that it is normal, but it is stupidity. As contradicting as it may sound, if marriage is one of your expectations, as much as you do not have to appear desperate or keep bothering your partner about it, you have to define your stand in the first few months of your relationship. Letting your partner know you are in for a serious relationship that leads to marriage is not a personal branding error; beating it over time and time again or stating it before you begin a relationship is.
Aside from marriage expectation that must be done subsequently and which overbeating may make you look desperate to your man, not voicing out your other expectations from your partner and giving attitude when he does not respond to your heart desires, which are not clearly expressed, may end the relationship as soon as possible.
However, your expectations must not exceed what your man can be able to provide; if it does, you will get your quit notice even faster. This means you have to study your man very well, know his strengths and weaknesses. The knowledge of your man must not be based on the opinion of others, but actual knowledge based on your observations and personal experience with him.
Don’t Be Disrespectful
One of the reasons why there is a lot of breakup of relationships nowadays is because some women tend to overlook the place of respect when they are in
love. They probably never realize that love can never replace respect in any relationship. This can also cause people heartbreak and have them remain foes before and after breaking up.
There are different acts of disrespect in a relationship, which could lead to enmity after breaking up, this includes bullying; verbally, sexually, physically, emotionally, and economically. The marks are always there and they are hard to forgive. As hard as it is for a woman to forgive a man that always attempted to take her life, despite he may not be providing for her upkeep. So it is for a man whose woman does not respect his personality; who always verbally bullies him and his family, even in the presence of his peers.
In most cases, one of the major reasons why many men begin to think about marrying a lady is no other thing than respect for his person and opinions.
The majority of women foolishly believe respecting men is an outdated thing, but it is never outdated. However, many men may take it for granted and that
is where placing some value on yourself will help you.
A woman may be forgiven for every other thing when dealing with a man in an intimate relationship, but no pretense. The truth is that if you see a future with someone and you want to marry him, pretending to be what you are not should be the last thing that will come to your mind.
Be yourself and if you can’t find a man that will love you for who you are, it may be that you have not discovered and improved on who you are or that the man for you has not located you.
There is a difference between personal branding and pretense, which has been stated in the beginning but will be reemphasized here for understanding.
Personal Branding is giving a good outlook to your good qualities and making them available while pretending to appear to have what you do not have.
In a simple term, pretending is branding false/emptiness.
Men hate women that pretend and this explains why you have to speak out your expectations. Not doing so interprets to the man that you are a pretender, even if you may just only be persevering. So many men will prefer to marry a prostitute that is willing to turn a new leaf than marry a church-girl that pretends.
Pretense is also detected in the form of trying to keep a secret that is obvious your man knows about. It is better not to keep a secret of something. Kindly say the truth and it may be sorted. But if you keep your wrongs a secret and keep indulging it, then keep denying it whenever your man asks you, it presents you not only as a pretender but as a wicked woman who is only playing with the intelligence of her man.
Don’t Keep A Male Best Friend (Bestie)
Keeping a female best friend could be a problem for some men, especially when you discuss everything that happens in your relationship with her, but keeping a male friend is a complete turn off for the majority of men. Only a
few men will not have issues with that, especially when the closeness is more than it should be.
Moreover, keeping a male as a best friend while you have a relationship is disrespectful to your man and reduces intimacy, whether you are married or not. Remember that your intimate lover is supposed to be your number one partner thus if your best friend is considered your number one partner who you can discuss everything with, then you should date and marry each other.
If you are choosing someone you are hoping to live the rest of your life with, it must be someone that you won’t have to hide your weaknesses from to be accepted and loved by him. If your best friend is that person, you may need to consider marriage with him.
Although there are situations where some men
understand it, you may have to be very careful.
Cheating is unacceptable in an intimate relationship, whether from the man or the woman. Only a few men and one out of every one million will retain a
woman that cheats on them. Cheating is a serious cause of relationship break-up, especially those which involve sexual intercourse.
This is because intimate relationships are bragging right for people, a vital part of which is sex. So if there is cheating that involves sexual relations, the
bragging right is gone. The vow is broken. However, cheating goes beyond sexual relations. Being more emotionally connected to another man other
than your man is the beginning point of cheating.
This emotional connection often leads to sexual relations, but the connection in itself without sexual relations is cheating. This also explains why keeping a male Bestie in arelationship is not accepted. Emotional connection is also a pride of therelationship.
Marriage encourages such a sense of pride; a man sees his wife as his pride and vice versa thus, if anyone hurts or tries to take them away emotionally or physically, they defend them with all they have. Pride of Ownership precedes love in dating, courting, and marriage; and sex is a major denominator in such
Marriage could just mean to a lot of men, “I’d love to dedicate my life, especially my sexual life to you, but you must do the same too.”
This is why cheating, especially when it involves sex is hard to forgive in an intimate relationship; it is a major bragging right to prove that your partner belongs to you. One it is taken away, people feel hurt and disconnected.
Don’t Describe Your Dirty Sexual Past To Your Partner
In a country like Nigeria, if you have to be a prostitute before or sold sex in one way or another and you tell your partner about it, you have the highest chance of losing him from that moment or make him stop considering marriage with you. Telling your partner about your dirty past, such as partying, clubbing, having one night stand, keeping friends with benefits, and having a threesome or your experience as a prostitute, no matter what led you to it may ruin your chances of settling down with him.
Although he will keep coming to you to get his share of what is perceived as a national cake: sex. Once he continues to get it, he will be with you but may
leave you once he’s ready for a marriage- focused relationship.
This may vary with the environment and the society you find yourself in, even with individuals and it means you have to understand the man you are dealing with before you disclose such past experiences. The majority of women have had their relationships hit the rock because they told their partners about their dirty
These men may try to play along for a while or even for a long time, but are very sure they will never get married to the woman involved. You may just be
good on your own, but the man involved may be thinking you are doing it to cover up for your past and get married to him despite your dirty past. Telling
your partner about your dirty past, especially concerning sex may reduce your chances of getting married to him.
There is a difference between telling him about your weaknesses and telling him about your dirty sexual past to the point of mentioning the men involved.
You should never do that, no matter how deeply in love you are, except you have studied and understood that he will have no issues with it, or he will
eventually find out.
If you are a retired sex seller, except you and your man met each other where you are doing your business or you know he will understand, never tell him about your experience as a call-girl. You can hide it for as long as you can, but once he asks precisely about it without you having told him before, do not hide it from him, say the truth. There are some men, who will prefer you
to tell them about your experience as a call-girl, but while you may tell them you have been involved in it, do not describe the experience. Leave him to imagine them without your help.
Don’t Hide Your Past Relationships And their Identities
There is a difference between describing your sexual parts and telling your prospective lover or lover about your past relationships. You must tell him about your past relationships and the identities of those involved.
However, using discretion where needed may also help. If he knows who they are, what led to the breakup, and your present relationship with them, he will understand if he sees you with them with you. However, if you do not tell him, it may cause you problems in the future.
If you also have a child(ren), please tell him. If you keep your status as a mother, you will lose him a long or short time if he eventually finds out.
Moreover, not telling him from the beginning may cause another problem.
Having a kid may hinder your chance of a serious relationship, but unlike being a sex-seller, you need to tell your man. Many men may leave you
because of that, but the man for you will accept you with your child. Do not be desperate!
Don’t Give in to Sex or Other Sex Related Acts on The First Meeting
This is why you are advised to choose your venue for the first date with any man. BE IN CONTROL, YOU ARE THE EMPLOYER! While sex on the first meeting may not mean your man only take you for a sex toy, giving in may
confirm it to him.
Research has shown that the majority of men suffer from
Imaginary Sex Addiction as a result of sex starvation, which has plagued them due to the philosophy of silence and prohibition that surrounds the subject of sex. This means that 98% of African men are most likely to ask you for sex on the first meeting.
Except you want to have sex with them, you must avoid it, not by going to their house and playing hard to get, but by choosing an open location, where you can stay safe. This will chase gold-diggers and sex mongers away from you because they do not have so much patience to do so.
Also, do not stimulate a man’s sex urge; then begin to form Holy Mary. IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED IN SEX, DO NOT TALK ABOUT IT.
Don’t Insult Your Suitors or Allow Your Lover To So
This is one of the worst mistakes single women make. The stupidity of a man or the fact that you do not like him should not make you misbehave, much so
that you put your own life on the line. It is wrong and antisocial to insult your suitor or allow your lover to do so, except you are married. Only a stupid man
goes after a married woman, so until you are married, manage your suitors with care and do not allow your man to insult them. It is not proper.
Such an act reduces your chances of attracting the right man if your current relationship is not the best for you. Never say never to any man until you are
married. The best is to keep saying no to them anytime they come around, but do not be tempted to insult them. Another caution is that you should never be with them alone in an enclosed place or a place out of your comfort zone.
If your current lover leaves you, that person you think you may never like may be the one you will turn to and if you have insulted him before, you may be sure that even if he accepts you, it is because he wants some compensation for the insult and may leave you later. Do not put yourself in a difficult situation. Be wise.
Do Not Compare Your Partner to your Ex
It is as straightforward as it gets, DO NOT COMPARE YOUR CURRENT LOVER TO YOUR EX! Whether in favor of him or not, avoid topics about your ex completely, except it is occasionally necessary to highlight the amiable qualities of your present lover. There are different people in the world, so you do not expect two people to act the same way.
The strengths of your ex may be your current lover’s weakness, do not make issues with it. Learn to live with it, provided you are okay with his strengths.
Comparing your present lover to your ex or other men out there is a huge disrespect that usually indicates you still have feelings for them or that you are most likely to cheat in the nearest future. It threatens the trust on which your relationship must be built and could end the relationship as soon as possible.