Today we would be discussing about defining your relationship expectations.
One of the major problems with the majority of women is that they do
not know how to define their relationship. They go into relationships excepting to get married to a partner who does not feel the same way and when the guy realizes he can’t meet their expectations and discard them,
they feel jilted. The truth is that id you do not define your expectations from relationships, at least within the second month of being together, you should expect anything, simply because you stand for nothing.
The first month is for you too to get to know each other so much and see from every side if you are cool together. The second month should be to define your expectations. If your expectations are not the same with your partner’s, a thing that can be detected from actions rather than with words, you should
make a move after the first month or before it if you detect it so fast.
This predicament of not defining expectations in relationships is a result of ignorance of self, which explains why self-discovery and development is the beginning point of this course. There is a saying that if you do not stand for anything, you will fall for anything. This statement is as true as two and two is equal to four; it also explains more plainly why many women do not know what they want. If you ask the majority of women what kind of man they want,
they may be able to tell you based on some physical attributes, which the society is most likely to agree with, but deep within them, they do not know what they want. Another predicament that a lot of women face is that they do not know the essence of relationships.
Any single woman, who wants to succeed in an intimate relationship, mustfirst define her expectations from it and then develop her ability to differentiate between what she wants and what she needs. She should also understand that if she goes after what she wants, which is often based on society’s measure, she may never get what she needs. However, if she is going after what she needs, she will eventually get what she wants. Moreover, she can never recognize what she needs except she has fully discovered and developed herself.
This may also explain why many women are scared of commitment. Most young women fear commitment because they do not know what they need and most times have no idea what they want. They build their wants around
public opinion and acceptance and with that; they never get what they need.
In the end, most of them just settle down for just any available man, because they realize their times are gone, having wasted a lot of them wandering around without knowing what works for them.
To know what you need in a relationship, you need to know who you are and what works for you and this is a core part of self-discovery and development, a course of study which you must be prepared to take part in if you have not already done so. Note also that this can sometimes keep you single for long,
but if you are courageous enough to keep the faith till the end, it will be worth it. A lot of young and single women have a serious problem when it comes to defining their relationship expectations and knowing the type of men they
need. If you do not sort this out; you will keep jumping from one man to
another, moving from one disappointing experience to the other and finally agreeing with the popular fallacy that “all men are the same”.
It is an undeniable fact, based on years of experience and observation of tens of women that the majority of young women between the ages of 16 to 28,
which is the prime of any woman, do not define their relationship expectations or know the type of men they need. The majority of them do not know why they want men in their lives, much less what type of men they want. If they
do, they are not usually sure their partners want the same thing. This
continues to leave themheartbroken and jilted whenever relationships break up. This is one of the reasons why many of them are afraid of commitment. Surely, it is very hard to commit to what you are not sure will work for you. Many young women within this age range are afraid of commitment because
they do not want to commit o the wrong man. That may be a good precaution to take, but there is a bigger problem in the fact that the majority of them never really get to know the type of man they need.
In the end, they just settle down for any man based on popular acceptance and qualities approved by family and relatives, which may not fit their personality. This may easily explain why there are a lot of women than men unhappy in their marriages. It is an undeniable fact that based on fear of what
people might say about their choices or the fear that they may not approve them, the majority of women end up marrying men who are not fit for their personality and never help them get better. They stay in these marriages despite they may be abused and not happy, because of fear of what people
will say. In the process of branding yourself for a relationship, you must create a mental picture of the type of man you need, in correlation with the understanding of yourself, if you must avoid the same experience. Mind you, this is not to create an unrealistic mental picture of a man that does not exist; creating a mental picture of a man you want is never going to be about physical attributes or material belongings, which often make a lot of sense to
the majority of women. While these things may not be overruled, having them come first and creating a mental picture of them in mind is disastrous and detrimental to meeting the right man for you. Moreover, with unrealistic expectations, which are often
preceded by unrealistic mental picture, heartbreak has become a loving couple that can’t live without each other. Once you are in a relationship with too many expectations from your partner,
especially those that you too cannot afford to give, heartbreak is inevitable. Unrealistic expectations are one major cause of heartbreak in dating, courting, or whatsoever name people choose to give intimate relationships before marriage and even marriage.
Moreover, a relationship that leads to marriage has to be backed by mutual love that comes naturally whether long or short time; that type of love that you can’t explain why it came. If you have unrealistic or faulty expectations based on the wrong mental picture, you will get it all wrong; you will never be able
to tell if the love is natural or not.
With the wrong mental picture, you will appear to naturally fall in love with someone who fits into the frame you have created. If anyone asks you why you love him, you won’t be able to tell, but that does not mean it is not there.
You will only realize that the love is not natural and that you have reasons that you love him when all those qualities have gone or do not work for you as you expect.